Artistically enhanced police statement on an incident with two bike thieves*

*names and locations and other details changed for fun. This is an artistically enhanced statement relating to an incident of bike theft and an assault that occurred outside of THE HEARTBREAKING MAJESTIC DECAYING ENTROPY OF MICHIGAN CENTRAL STATION by the bike racks at approximately 1600hrs on SUNDAY 98th DECEMBEFEBRUARYILER 2147. I have decided to enhance this statement as the Met Police report was unbelievably dry and failed to capture so many aspects of reality, perceived and imagined, and the motivations of those involved. The number relating to this incident is 3.1415926535. I would describe myself as a lockdown-exacerbated overweight male … Continue reading Artistically enhanced police statement on an incident with two bike thieves*

Psychogeographic Slow Boat to the Camberwell Riviera

Culture, like acid, comes in waves. Cosmic Bob in his excellent “A Very Special Date” chat with Ibizan Harry talks about how you sometimes find yourselves being carried along in certain orientations by your peers. For me the current hasn’t been particularly strong, but I have definitely found myself drifting south, lower, slower as the years pass, very little techno. But over the past year the current picked up and I accelerated – or more accuately decelerated – to a deeper place where I’m not sure I can surface from. Early in the lockdown I heard one of the K+E … Continue reading Psychogeographic Slow Boat to the Camberwell Riviera

Tiny Reminders / Weatherall

This Sunday night at 10pm only live (no listen back later options!) on Aaja Music, I’ll be doing a Two Lone Swordsmen special, showcasing their music between 1996 and 2001. You can lock in here, or download the Radio Cult app from the Apple or Google store and tune in to Aaja (UK, the snake logo) on the app. Here’s a Google Calendar notification if you are that organised – that took me about ten minutes to work out how to do that. If it doesn’t work, sorry. I won’t even try with an iPhone thing, please just stick a … Continue reading Tiny Reminders / Weatherall

In defence of ephemerality

Berghain doesn’t allow photos to be taken on the dancefloor. And rightly so. Does anyone really want those moments to be captured on a cameraphone anyway? Perhaps – but I did not grow up with a device surgically attached to my hand. I recently saw pictures (in an art gallery, no less) of myself at a rave in the late 90s, and even though it was outdoors and on a coastal inlet, not a single person had a mobile phone on display, even as the sun came up and made for a glorious Insta shot. I suppose due to my … Continue reading In defence of ephemerality

12 shows from 2020 on Aaja Music to listen back to.

It’s been an interesting year. The Bermondsey Lido show on Aaja Music wraps up for the year on Dec 26th at 9pm with a “2020 Rewind” edition, going through all the music I bought in the last 12 months. The show has been running since March and it’s taken a different direction to the one I originally intended, turning into much more of a party on the air and having a two-way conversation with the listeners via the online chat room. Doing the show has kept some focus in my life and maintained my sanity during the lockdown. I’ve stopped … Continue reading 12 shows from 2020 on Aaja Music to listen back to.

Musique Concrete

[This article I wrote was from an electronic festival guide from 2002, which previously only appeared in print. I found it under my bed during a recent clear out and have digitised it. Hope you enjoy] The atmosphere has been building up during a performance at the POL festival of electronic music and arts in Frankfurt, Germany. However, instead of being excited and getting pleasure from the experience, the crowd is becoming increasingly frustrated and irritated. There are constant interruptions and distortions to the audio signals, and the audience cannot hear what the people on the stage are saying all … Continue reading Musique Concrete

Cheque your privilege

In the early/mid nineties I got into a decent university in my home town when I was 17. I couldn’t handle the responsibility though and dropped out after a few months. The combinations of: meeting people on similar musical wavelengths to me, increased autonomy with my time, not constantly being around people who I was only linked to by geography, nearly reaching the legal age for pubs and clubs, and the ready availability of ecstasy and LSD (honestly, so much acid…), meant that I was destined for middling mediocrity rather than the heights of academia. But I shed no tears, … Continue reading Cheque your privilege

Should I stay (in) or should I go (out) now?

I finally broke the seal on it last month – I went out and was Around Other People. After the minor trauma of contracting the coronavirus in March, something has definitely shifted in my hindbrain. In some ways I’ve been social distancing for years – workplace water cooler conversations about “Strictly” or “Bake Off” curl my toes to the point they might break, and I made it a point of avoiding every single event where I was made to be in a social space with people I have almost nothing in common with. Casual chats with other new Dads in … Continue reading Should I stay (in) or should I go (out) now?

Teaching the Little Fish to swim

Bleh. I missed my usual target of at least one blog post per month with the lockdown. I would love to say that my online language classes are progressing well, I’ve done about 800 pages of my historical novel, and I’ve taken my cooking repertoire to new heights. But that would all be complete horseshit. Like many others, I’ve reached new lows in terms of engagement and output. Running has been sporadic. Drinking has gone up. Some days it feels like my phone is surgically attached to my hand. I actually – I feel dirty saying this – watched all … Continue reading Teaching the Little Fish to swim

Soundtracking the apocalypse

Aaja Deptford have given me a monthly radio show which I’m looking forward to. It’s been a long time since I was in a pirate’s studio, at least a decade, for similar reasons for not DJing / rebirth some months ago. Radio has always been a constant presence in my audiosphere, and even though the pirate pulse has been displaced by podcasts, cloud mixes, and youtube sets, it still refuses to die, even if it has mutated more to the form of online streaming radio rather than a fuzzy FM signal. Obviously NTS reigns supreme in this arena, but the … Continue reading Soundtracking the apocalypse